Caden's Dilemma (Indiscreet #6) Read online

  “Cisco, if you’re that much of a pain in the ass to live with it’s no wonder Greg doesn’t kill you in your sleep.” Bull attacked his potatoes and bacon.

  “I’ll have you know that Greg is very organized. There is never a thing out of place. He worked so hard in the beginning that I was beginning to fear for his health. I got a cleaning woman in five days a week to help him. But that’s how you have a relationship, you pay attention. Everyone here at this table knew Masato/Johnny whichever was crazy about you and you were crazy about him, yet you let money get in the way.”

  Cisco looked directly into Caden’s eyes. “I had a man who took my money and my family along with my heart. I didn’t let anyone get in for ten long years. Then these two,” he pointed to Bear and Reed, “made me join the club and convinced me that having a sub is different. As soon as I saw Greg I had to have him. I knew him before from the hospital, but this was a side of himself he hid at work. I kept telling myself there was no such thing as love until Greg proved constantly that there was. Every day he still packs me a lunch. He always puts a funny note, a little surprise or just a yellow sticky with a smiley face, and aside from when Greg has lunch with me, it’s the highlight of my day until I get home to his arms at night.”

  “When you find the right one and let him go there is no worse feeling on earth,” Reed said sadly. Bull agreed.

  “Well I knew Danny was the one the first day I laid eyes on him, but I figured I if I played with him often enough that the others would stay away. They didn’t. I didn’t know that he hadn’t had sex with any of them but then I was insanely jealous. I even bid for Jamie in a jealous fit,” Gary admitted, but not proudly.

  He sipped on his coffee with a faraway look in his eyes. “Danny wasn’t available one Wednesday night when I came in a little late. Friday was the auction. I was never so ashamed of myself as I was when I held out that paddle the last time. I was putting Bull in the poorhouse because of a jealous rage. And it wasn’t even Danny’s fault. He was a service sub and had to do his job.” Gary turned to Bull. “Had I won the bid…I would have paid my money and deferred to you anyway. It was what I deserved.”

  “Does that mean you owe St Mary’s thirty thousand dollars?” Cisco almost leaped across the table to corner him.

  “Waving donations at Cisco is like waving Jamie at Bull. Both come running.” Bear laughed.

  The table guffawed. “I’ll expect your check in the mail or you may be able to get off the hook by co-chairing the next fundraiser with Bear. With all your new fancy New York friends, I’m sure I can squeeze your thirty thousand out at least ten more times. Which you will donate anyway because your brother-in-law is an ass,” Cisco said, perfectly serious as he brought up the calendar on his phone. “What time are you free tomorrow, Bear? Coordinate with Gary and get back to me.”

  Bear gave Gary a you’re in for it now look. Gary shot the look back to Caden.

  “Hate to tell you this, buddy, but as long as the subs are upset we don’t get any. If we say a wrong word about the situation, we get all the little pleasantries of which you were informed. Cisco’s already getting silence, Danny’s crying all the time, Jamie’s organizing again, Brian is in high pout and Jim is just plain pissy.” Reed motioned the waiter and got a little Irish for his coffee as he brought the eggs to the table.

  The other five looked at each other and did the same. “And this, our newest member, is all on you. Each of us, except Bear, has had our own monumental fuck-ups, and the boys have stood strong every time. You’re only allowed one of these before we murder you,” Cisco said pleasantly as he took a spoonful of eggs. “I still say Greg’s are better.”

  “Talk to Jim,” Reed answered, irate.

  § § §

  Tuesday Afternoon

  “I appreciate you taking the time to see me, Greg,” Caden said as he walked into the room holding out his hand. Greg took it and shook it but Caden could see it was grudgingly. Talk about walking into the enemy camp. Cisco was even glaring at him from his office door before closing it. There were two chairs and a couch in Greg’s office. Greg didn’t come out from behind his desk so Caden sat down at the chair in front of the desk.

  “Why are you here?” Greg asked, almost belligerent.

  Caden sputtered, “But, you were there this morning, you know why.”

  Greg narrowed his eyes. “This morning told me why they thought you should come, not why you think you should be here.”

  “I’m here because I love Johnny and I was a stupid-son-of-bitch about his money,” Caden said, lowering his eyes.

  “You love Johnny but have issues about money. How did your family treat money?” Greg asked, his voice not quite so unkind as before.

  “My father was cheap. He owned ten dry cleaners but Danny didn’t even have a cheap computer for homework.” Caden started massaging his temple.

  “You’ve always had to work harder than most for everything you’ve achieved.” Greg leaned forward.

  “You’re beginning to sound like a gypsy fortune teller. Yes, because my dad took most of what I earned for room and board. I got out of town as soon as I finished high school and never looked back except for short visits to Danny when I’d take him to Great Adventure or the Planetarium. I was ashamed when I found him living on the street, ashamed that I hadn’t looked after him better, he was my little brother for Christ’s sake. I knew what my parents were like and they were getting worse by the day when I was still there.” Caden ran his fingers through his short hair.

  “So you got to be the hero to Danny until Gary came along and it bothered you that Gary could provide for Danny better than you could. Because you, Danny’s savior, were being replaced.” Greg leaned back. “Well?”

  “Yes, you’re right. I did resent Gary in the beginning. But I realized he wasn’t showing off, he just gave Danny what he thought Danny needed. He knew all the time it wasn’t money.” Caden sat up. “Danny didn’t need money, all Danny needed was Gary.”

  Greg stared at him from across the room. “And…”

  “Johnny didn’t need my money, all he needed was me.”

  “Got it in one…that doesn’t mean you don’t still have issues you need to deal with from combat, your parents and your guilt about finding Danny out on the street. I can see you once a week and we shouldn’t take that long to take care of those. Don’t worry, your insurance at Indiscreet pays for it.” Greg pushed away from his desk. “You weren’t as pigheaded as I thought you would be when they told me what you did. Fix it or leave and let him move on. I think, idiot that he is, he’d rather have you stay. On a personal note, rather than a professional one. I know I’ve been crossing lines throughout this session and you are free to report me to whomever you wish—”

  “I wouldn’t do that.”

  Greg put up his palm. He continued as if Caden hadn’t interrupted.

  “I can speak for all of the subs. You’re still on our shit list and that means that all of our Masters are going to suffer until you make things right, or leave. Danny’s waffling on the leave part but he’s beginning to come around. Call it incentive. Remember something about subs, you have control only because we allow it. One word from us and it all stops—the scene, the collar, the contract, everything. You aren’t afraid to take on that level of commitment from another man. Why would you let a stupid thing like money stand in the way of you and a man who lets you beat him, who could stop you with a single word but doesn’t, a man who loves you more than you deserve?”

  § § §

  Caden walked out of Greg’s office feeling like the ass wipe he was. He couldn’t even go in to Cisco for sympathy. The subs made a decision and it was going to affect all of the Doms in their circle.

  “Caden,” Cisco called from his office. Even though he had a few inches, less years and a few more muscles than the man in front of him, he was a force to be reckoned with. “My boy isn’t speaking to me in solidarity with Johnny. You better fix this or I’ll make life very uncomf
ortable for you. Nothing comes between me and my boy.”

  Bear and Gary were in the corridor waiting for Cisco’s fundraising meeting. Gary said, “I’m running out of tissues and patience. Fix it.”

  “Brian is in high huff. This pout is his Mount Everest of pouts. He didn’t pout this much when I threatened to get rid of that damn dog. You better start to get the job done. I don’t think it will be an easy fix.”

  Caden drove back to the office because he didn’t really have anywhere else to go. He passed Bull’s office. Bull shouted at him. “He’s cleaning again. The whole place smells like Clorox and Windex. If I lose any shirts or sweats over this, you’re a dead man. He won’t even let me pet my cats. He’s going to give them a bath. He chased me out of the house with a broom. Out of my own house…you better suck up real quick. They’re really serious.”

  He got to his office and found Reed waiting for him. “Don’t go anywhere near Jim today. He’s beyond pissy and well into bitchy. You won’t survive the encounter. I’m barely standing myself. Fix it fast or I’ll bury you in so much paperwork you’ll never see the light of day.” Reed sat down in the uncomfortable chair. “If you weren’t family, I’d threaten to fire you. I almost fired Bull when he pulled the same type of shit with Jamie, but I knew that they’d patch it up eventually having to look at each other every day.”

  Reed stood and backed him against a wall. “But Johnny, he doesn’t have to look at you. He could leave that house and buy another before you could say jackrabbit. I’d say you’re running out of time. Two weeks is all they’re going to give you and I had to practically kiss Jim’s shoes to get that much information. By the way, Jim said the security was really bad at his house and Brian thinks the chimneys are dangerous. I figured I’d be kind and give you something else to chew on.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Caden went home early. He didn’t have much time. He went to Angie’s List and found the best florist in Jackson. He drove down to Ocean County not caring about the snow and ice.

  He went in and practically bought out her store. He found his dog tags in his mailbox and ordered new ones made from a local jeweler in gold, even though he had to take a loan out to do it. It was twelve months, no interest. He knew with his new job, he could swing both that and the car payments. The collar and wedding rings were already paid for. He’d work out a deal with Reed for the reception. He’d use Johnny’s money but only for charity or a necessity. They would have to live on their joint salaries even if Johnny’s was larger than his. Johnny’s house was paid for; he’d try to chip in for Mrs. Mills and Aubrey. He had it all figured out, now if he could just get Johnny to talk to him.

  He showed up at five in the afternoon. Mrs. Mills was kind enough to take his flowers before slamming the door in his face. There was a card. At least he’d know where the flowers came from. He didn’t think that nice elderly woman would throw out his card.

  § § §

  Johnny was waiting for her as soon as she came into the house. She gave him the flowers but palmed the card. Johnny caught her and grabbed the card. “Mrs. Mills don’t do that. If you ever do that again you will be in deep trouble.”

  “Speaking of trouble, that man is trouble. If you’re wise you’ll stay away at least until he realizes your worth,” Mrs. Mills said in a huff.

  Johnny watched through the window as Caden looked around outside.

  § § §

  After having the door slammed in his face Caden looked around the yard. There was no security. He was a billionaire for God’s sake and he didn’t even have floodlights or cameras. Not even a goddamned dog. It was supposed to be cold tonight. He’d bundle up, get a thermos of coffee and watch the house until he could get Johnny to install some security in the morning.

  § § §

  Wednesday Morning

  That’s how Johnny found him in the morning; freezing cold in his car with a worn army blanket and a thermos of cold coffee. Johnny touched his arm. Caden awoke with a start and almost went for his gun. He blurted out, “You have no security here. You’re the largest stockholder of Adroit Systems and anyone could get to you. You have a target painted on your ass if anyone finds out you’re here and someone will, believe me they will. I’ll bet you don’t even have smoke alarms, or radon detectors and according to Bear, Brian says you haven’t had your chimneys cleaned in years.” Caden ran out of breath. “You need a keeper,” Caden said when he caught his breath. He tried to get out of the car but Johnny blocked the car door with his body.

  “I asked you to apply for the job, remember, you turned it down,” Johnny said with a sigh. “How do I know that you didn’t think on it and decide to take me because of the money after all, since all you see when you look at me is a dollar sign?” Johnny turned to go back into the house.

  Caden was hurt at what Johnny said but figured he deserved it. He tried to continue.

  “At least let me arrange for security and some smoke and radon alarms. I’ll pay for it, no matter what you think of me. I just want you safe,” Caden begged.

  Johnny opened his door and walked inside closing it abruptly behind him.

  Caden went to work. He drove from Johnny’s to the office sick to his stomach. Now he knew what Jamie meant when he said he needed help. His head was in the clouds with his goddamned code and he needed someone to ground him in reality. Why couldn’t I have seen that days ago?

  He burst in on Reed. “I need an advance on my paycheck.”

  “Since you’re the cause of all my recent troubles, why should I help you?”

  “It’s not for me, it’s for Johnny. He doesn’t have security and refuses to put it in. I’m just going to have it done. What’s he going to do, sue me? I don’t have anything to take. Put me in jail? I already did that to myself. I’m not going to stand by and let something happen. He doesn’t even have a goddamned dog.”

  Reed shook his head and agreed.

  Caden called in a few favors from some old army buddies, one of whom ran a security outfit in Toms River. He thought he could get Ron out today by promising to consider him for Indiscreet’s business. It was a bribe pure and simple, but he had to make sure Johnny was safe.

  He dropped by later in the afternoon to see how things were progressing and was greeted by a surprisingly calm Johnny. “Initially I was angry, but then I thought about Mrs. Mills and Aubrey and his family, it would be foolish to refuse, and unlike you, I’m no fool. Anyway, I got a date out of it.” Johnny went back into the house.

  Caden was ready to hit the roof. “Which one of you grunts gave him your phone number? Did I ask you to give him your phone number? No, I asked to have security installed. If you have his number you better rip it up and hope he doesn’t call you, because he’s mine.”

  One of the men had his hat in his hand. “Sorry Master Sergeant, I was out of line. I didn’t know he was taken—”

  “He is, he just doesn’t know it yet so tell the others, stay away. Do I make myself clear, corporal?”

  “Yes, Master Sergeant.”

  They responded to him just as quickly as they did a year ago. They were a good unit. It pained him to know that soon some of them would be going back, this time without him, but he couldn’t do it anymore or he would have gone insane. Greg was right, he did have issues.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Friday

  He bought a box of candy. It came in a fancy heart with the best Belgian chocolates. It was a week until Valentine’s Day. Maybe he could get Johnny to go out with him to the club for Valentine’s Day. He heard that the club did a nice job and the Valentine’s Day Dance was very popular.

  He knocked on the door. This time Johnny answered. He kept the screen door closed. “I eh…brought you some candy for Valentine’s Day. I hope you like truffles because the lady at the store said they were the best and you couldn’t go wrong with them if someone was allergic to nuts.”

  “She was less than honest with you. There is always a residue of nuts in the machines they
use. It isn’t nut free unless it says so on the package.” Johnny stood in the doorway, neither coming out nor going back inside.

  “You’re not allergic to nuts are you?” Caden asked in horror.

  Johnny took pity on him. “I’m not allergic to anything, I just hate sushi.”

  “I remember. Will you take the candy? I was hoping to go to the Valentine’s Day Dance with you.”

  “Oh, I’ll be there, but I’m going stag. There’s a new crop of Doms, some of them very nice, Danny told me.” Johnny stayed behind the screen.

  God help him he was going to strangle his own brother. Caden shifted his weight from foot to foot, something he hadn’t done since he was a kid. “Will you please take the candy? I would like you to have it. Maybe Mrs. Mills would like some.”

  Johnny opened the screen door just enough to get the candy box. “I’ll give Mrs. Mills your compliments.”

  Caden stomped down the stairs. Patience was not his strong suit.

  § § §

  Monday Morning

  “At least they’re talking to us now, so you must have done something right. Did you apologize?” Bear asked. Caden’s face went blank.

  “Tell me you didn’t apologize…” Cisco said as he ate his eggs, which he said were too runny.

  “I brought him candy and flowers,” Caden said in his own defense.

  “Which mean nothing unless you apologize.” Gary stood up. “How can you be such an ass?”

  “Yeah,” said Bear. “You raise it to the level of fine art.”

  Bull pulled a chair over to the table and sat backward on it. “You’ll never get him back if you don’t say you’re sorry. They should have been the first words out of your mouth, along with I love you and need you. Haven’t you ever had a relationship? They write about this kind of thing in Out and The Advocate.”

  § § §

  The sub club met as usual at Jim’s. Today though, Aubrey and Johnny picked up Danny and Brian picked up Jamie. Greg, as usual, arrived by himself.

  “How is the campaign progressing?” Jim asked, making the tea.