Caden's Dilemma (Indiscreet #6) Read online

  “I think Jim is right. You had to protect yourself. Cisco didn’t tell anyone about his money until he collared me. Sometimes it pays to be suspicious. Remind me to tell you what happened to Cisco when he was younger because of his parent’s money.” Greg sliced himself a piece of the date nut bread.

  “Danny, what do you think? You know him best.”

  Danny was nervously fiddling with his napkin. “He’s going to be mad. You should have seen him when Gary offered to give him the down payment for his car. The only reason he finally took it was because in Afghanistan he promised himself that he would buy himself a membership in the club. He says that’s what got him through that last deployment in one piece.”

  Johnny didn’t know about one piece. I wonder if Danny knows about the rather large wound on Caden’s shoulder.

  “Maybe you should give him a little more time before you tell him. Sort of gradually work up to it. He knows Aubrey picks you up, doesn’t he?” Brian took another slice of cake. “This really is good. You’re going to have to get Mrs. Mills to give all of us the recipe. I can’t cook but I can give it to Mrs. Santorre.”

  “But isn’t it lying now, not to tell him, I mean? What if he finds out from someone else?” The slice of cake sat on Johnny’s plate. As good as it was, he didn’t feel like eating.

  Greg put down his teacup. “You have to weigh the risks against the rewards. You take a chance either way. But if he knows you first, it will be harder for him to let you go.”

  “I agree,” Danny said. “Caden is pigheaded. Look how long it took for him to give up the idea of being a cop. I knew that his temperament wasn’t suited to that job. He took orders from some pretty huge assholes in the army. I knew he wouldn’t want to repeat the experience, but he didn’t listen to Gary and me until after he finished his training and Tom Martino told him how long it would take to make a living wage.” He held up his cup and Johnny poured more tea.

  “I’d like to be able to give the money away if he asked me to do it, but I have people who depend on me for their living. Aubrey has a wife and a grandchild that lives with him who has cystic fibrosis. I pay for their health insurance. There is also Mrs. Mills. She’s been with me since I was a little kid and my parents hired her to take care of me. My father died when I was ten, of a heart attack, and my mother couldn’t handle it. She let Mrs. Mills control the household and took to her bed.” Johnny sighed.

  “She probably would have been diagnosed with major depression had she gone to the doctor,” Greg said.

  “Is she still alive?” Danny asked.

  “No, she died when I was thirteen, just before I went to college. She gave up before I had the chance to write the software. I think she died of a broken heart. Mrs. Mills stayed with me. We lived on my mother’s trust fund and social security. There was just enough to pay for college and living expenses. Mrs. Mills hired Aubrey to drive me to and from school. Paying for Aubrey was cheaper than living in the dorms. Then I invented the software and money was no longer tight. But at sixteen, I didn’t know how to run a company.

  “Mrs. Mills and I hired Harvey Thomas. He runs the company, I just write the software. I own a controlling interest and he keeps trying to get me to go back to work. I do some work out of the house but I’ve been working full out since I was thirteen. I hired good software engineers to replace me. He doesn’t need me there.” Johnny used his napkin to wipe his face.“I want Caden, but I can’t do the charitable work and care for Mrs. Mills and Aubrey’s family if I give it all away. I’d give them a pension but both of them claim they’d be bored if they weren’t working and then they’d have nowhere to live. I think it’s because they worry about me. They’re my family.”

  “You’re probably right.” Greg had another piece of banana bread.

  Jim smacked his hand. “Leave some for the rest of us.”

  Greg shot Jim a look. “Someone is bitchy today. Anyway, Aubrey and Mrs. Mills see themselves en loco parentis and won’t leave until they think you’re settled.”

  “Mrs. Mills did help me become an emancipated youth after Mom died. I went to Monmouth College at thirteen, and finished my masters by the time I was sixteen. The software was for my Master’s thesis and then it took off when my faculty advisor showed it to a venture capitalist. We stayed in this house. It was part of my grandparents’ estate. Aubrey handles all the maintenance. He hires the contractors. I tend to get ripped off. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not a child. I’m just inept at everyday living. I’ve been a nerd for so long, I’m oblivious to everything else. I need someone to teach me how to live.” Johnny sighed in exasperation.

  “And Caden needs someone to live for…” Danny and Greg said together. They bumped fists.

  “Caden needs someone to take care of and if he just looks at the money he won’t see that you need him. You have to tell him but we’re going to have to make him realize he is really needed.” Greg took a final sip of tea. “I’ve got to go. I can’t just go shopping today. Besides, I hate shopping. If I have to go get anything I take either Cisco or Brian and Jim.” He kissed everyone and left by the kitchen door; phone to his ear calling Cisco as he got into his car.

  “Mrs. Mills buys my clothing. She says I’d dress like a bum if she let me. I know what I want to get Caden. It’s a necklace with a medal of Saint Jude, the patron saint of the impossible. Maybe when he finds out about the money, he’ll understand the gift.” Johnny finally took a bite of his banana bread.

  “I know of a good religious jewelry store in Princeton. We can be there and back in an hour and a half, especially if you know what you want,” Jim told Johnny.

  “I can’t, I have to get back to work,” Jamie said. “There is just too much to do. Brian, can Junior drop me off at the club?”

  “Sure, then Danny, Jim and I will accompany Johnny to the store and help him pick out the medallion.”

  Brian, Jim and Danny dropped Johnny off at three, anxious to get home to their Masters. Johnny could only hope that he could attract and keep Caden, despite the impediment.

  § § §

  Caden whistled as he bounded up the stairs.

  “Someone is energetic this morning. How did it go with Masato last night?” Bull stood on the landing.

  “He’s very responsive,” Caden said enigmatically.

  “I always found that he took easy to my flogger, but that isn’t what I wanted to know. I’ll admit curiosity as to how you two got along. Come on down to my office, sit and have coffee with me. The subs talk to each other, we might as well do the same.” Bull walked down the long corridor to his office, opened the door and invited him inside.

  “Sit.” Bull took out a thermos and cream from a small refrigerator. “I don’t like to run up and down all of the time.” He took two mugs out of the credenza and laid them on the desk. “How do you take yours?” Bull took out sugar packets from his desk drawer then poured the coffee.

  “Just a little cream. It’s very cozy in here,” Caden said in surprise. “This chair is comfortable.”

  “That’s because Jamie did the decorating. I’m very minimalist. You know how it goes. After a while everything looks like it should be in camouflage.” Bull laughed at himself. He took a sip of coffee.“Have Masato do your office. It will help you to bond.” Bull looked around him. “It took Jamie a month before he thought it was done. He didn’t do much to his own office until he finished mine. I can decorate, just don’t like to do it. That’s what a sub is for, to do things for you that you don’t like to do. Jamie does the wash and the ironing.” Bull gave Caden a self-satisfied smile. “I hate laundry.”

  “I’m afraid I’m no good around the house at all.” Caden looked at the Roman Shades. “I can fix things, hang things up, put them together or build whatever is necessary, but cooking and laundry are beyond me. I send the shirts out. I figure it costs less than buying a new shirt every time I try to iron and scorch the old one. I do the basic laundry, one white and one colored load, but sometimes I even sc
rew that up.”

  “Can you cook?” Bull asked.

  “I eat mostly at the club. I can cobble something together if necessary, but it will be filling, nothing more.”

  “You better make sure Masato knows how to cook or both of you need to take cooking classes. I know a place you can go for them. I went years ago to learn to cook for myself. I didn’t want to eat at the mess or MREs for the rest of my days. Although the food was okay, sometimes you just want to be by yourself. At the mess somebody always wanted to talk about work.” Bull sighed. “Something I don’t have to worry about anymore.”

  “Are you still bitter?” Caden asked, knowing Bull’s story.

  “No, Jamie and Greg helped me get over that. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I love my Jamie and he’s a good sub. He may look like a twink, but in his heart, he’s a tiger.”

  Caden stood, leaving his half-finished coffee on the desk. “You can take the mug to your office until you get your own.” Bull took another sip of his coffee.

  “Thanks.” Caden was about to leave.

  “Don’t think I didn’t notice that you told me nothing about you and Masato. It’s been a week, so Gary’s out of the running. Now it’s just Cisco, Bear and me. Bear’s up next at three weeks. How’s it looking?”

  Caden smiled. “The Doms are just as much a bunch of old biddies as are the subs. All I can tell you is that I’m working on it. I don’t know how long it will take. When it’s right it will happen.”

  “The mug will come in handy. They only use china cups here and I need more of a caffeine fix than those cups provide.”

  Caden walked over to the desk and picked up the mug.

  “Thanks for the coffee and the mug, I better get to work.” Caden walked out Bull’s door and down the hall to his office.

  § § §

  Friday

  Johnny showed up at Indiscreet at four on Friday. He wasn’t due to meet Caden until five but he just couldn’t wait. He thought he’d sit in the dining room and have an iced tea. He had a lot to think about. I’ll take my time and see how it goes. I’ll know when I should tell him.

  They called Caden down at five. Caden was already in his leathers when he came down the stairs. His pants were brown and he wore a tight T-shirt. Johnny feasted on the sight of Caden’s strong arms and shivered thinking about what they would do to him later in the evening.

  Johnny stood and knelt down in full presentation, on his knees, ass up in the air and arms stretched out in front of him. Caden came over to the booth and Johnny kissed his boot.

  Caden pulled Johnny up from the floor and gave him a deep kiss in the middle of the dining room. Johnny had seen Doms fondle their subs while sitting at a table and often wondered what it would be like to be so totally relaxed and uninhibited with your lover that you could let someone play with your privates on full display. But he didn’t seem to mind Caden’s very public kiss.

  “We’re not going to do a scene tonight. Your body has taken enough abuse this week. I want to get to know you.” Caden sat down on the banquette and pulled Johnny down on his lap.

  “If that pleases you, Sir.” Johnny looked down and away from Caden’s eyes. Caden was so solicitous about his welfare. Mrs. Mills and Aubrey cared about him, but he paid them, and even though he thought they would care even if he didn’t, Caden was the first person since his father that cared about him just because he was himself. Even under an assumed name, Johnny let his whole personality shine through to Caden.

  “Let’s order dinner.” Caden gave him a hug.

  “Can I get dinner tonight? I have two dinners coming and it’s near the end of the month, either I use them or lose them.”

  “Baby, dinner for me and a companion is free and one of the benefits of working here. So, let me sign for your dinner. It’s Friday night and the others will be here soon. You can get yourself lunch with Danny this week.” Caden gave him a kiss.

  “If you’re sure,” Johnny murmured, snuggling up closer to Caden’s broad chest.

  “I’m sure.” Caden motioned to the waiter to get him a pillow. “We’ll be on protocol tonight because we’re dining with the rest of the crew.”

  “I forgot about it being Friday and the others coming. I better hurry up and give you what I bought.” Johnny grabbed a package from the seat. “I saw this today and thought of you.” He handed it to Caden. Caden took the small package from Johnny, curiosity evident on his face. He opened the package.

  “It’s a medal of St. Jude,” Johnny said. “I know you’re not Catholic, but it has a different meaning for me than the traditional religious one.”

  “What would that be?” Caden asked taking the sturdy gold chain out of the box with the one-inch long matching medal.

  “St. Jude is the patron saint of the impossible. You see, I thought it would be impossible for me to ever find someone, and here you are next to me.” Johnny looked up and smiled, eyes shining with happy tears because Caden hadn’t outright rejected his gift.

  Caden took the medal and its chain into his palm and studied it. Johnny waited. Caden smiled. Johnny let out the breath he was holding.

  “I’d be happy to wear it. I thought it was impossible too.”

  Caden started to kiss Johnny with fervor.

  “Uh hem…” Someone cleared their throat. Caden tore his lips away from Johnny and looked up.

  “Are we eating dinner or are you getting a room?” Bear asked with a straight face.

  “We’re eating dinner as soon as Masato puts his gift around my neck. Go ahead baby. I love it, but don’t do it again. I don’t want you spending your money on me.” The light went out of Johnny’s eyes. He looked up at Bear, Bear noticed.

  The moment was lost with the arrival of the others. Reed and Jim came down the stairs and Brian came in from the kitchen where he was gossiping with the waiters. Gary and Cisco came in with his brother and Greg and Jamie and Bull came over from the elevator.

  Suddenly all the seats were full and the subs were on the floor with their pillows.

  “What would you like to eat tonight besides garlic shrimp?” Caden teased, ruffling Johnny’s hair.

  “Surprise me, Sir. The only thing I won’t eat is…”

  “Sushi,” Caden said in chorus with Johnny.

  In the meantime the other subs were whispering. Greg sat next to him and gave his ribs a poke. “Did you tell him yet?”

  Johnny turned his head to face Greg. “I was going to tell him tonight but I forgot all of you would be here.”

  “There’s always later on this evening…” Jim waved at him from his pillow across the table. “How is it going?” he mouthed.

  Johnny wasn’t used to having friends, especially so many at once. At work he was the boss so if anyone tried to get too friendly he put them off because he couldn’t tell a real gesture of friendship from a fake one. Here it was all real. He leaned back against Caden’s legs while Caden casually caressed his shoulder.

  Johnny looked to Jim. He wondered at himself. He wanted them to like him so bad. He sat at tables where they spoke of millions of dollars for development. He had to fight Harvey to make sure there was still a research and development department, just as he fought him to keep the entire operation here in New Jersey. Harvey wanted to show a bigger profit. Johnny’s fifty-one percent said that the company stayed here and still did R&D not necessarily related to the software they were selling. He hadn’t given a shit who liked him then. The company made a twelve percent profit after taxes and the shareholders got their dividends. He wasn’t about to cut off a potential source of future revenue. He stood firm but it was difficult. He dreamed of someone to help him stand up to Harvey without spending the whole evening before the meeting throwing up.

  Brian piped up. “Do you like dogs or cats?”

  “Both I suppose,” Johnny answered.

  “You have a yard,” Brian stated. Johnny couldn’t figure out where this was going. Since Brian hadn’t whispered, he figured this was a conversati
on that couldn’t get him into trouble.

  “I hear you down there, cub. Cut it out. Masato doesn’t need one of your gifts quite yet,” Bear admonished Brian who started to pout.

  Johnny turned to Jim as the one person who would know. He cocked his head.

  “He gets rescue animals for all of the subs. He’s done very well with cats, but don’t let him get you a dog. Let’s just say Brian has better instincts with cats.” Brian elbowed Jim in the ribs.

  “Ouch. Someone is a little crabby tonight.” Jim waggled his eyebrow at Brian.

  “Don’t…do…that,” he said and Jim, seeing he was serious, stopped.

  “I think I’d like a cat.” Johnny attempted to soothe the waters. Brian’s face brightened immediately and he stuck his tongue out at Jim.

  “Bear was right when he pegged you as full of mischief five years ago.” Jim gave an exaggerated sigh.

  “I’ll get you a cat on Monday after tea. You can come with me to help pick it out.” Brian’s eyes shown with the mischief Jim accused him of harboring.

  “Brian wants to rescue every cat and dog at the shelter. So, every one of us has one of his offerings except for Greg because Cisco’s allergic to cats. Brian would get them a dog but Cisco’s wise enough to pick out his own.” Then in an aside Danny said, “You have heard about Pest-o.”

  Johnny shook his head as Danny immediately launched into the story of the shit in Bear’s shoes.

  Johnny laughed so hard he almost wet himself. Caden looked down. Johnny said one word, “Pest-o” and Caden cracked up. “Don’t let him get you a dog. If you want one, I’ll come with you but don’t let Brian do it.”

  Brian was still pouting at Jim and now Caden. “I am much maligned.” Bear gave him a sip of diet ginger ale. Jim rolled his eyes.

  Dinner was served and Caden fed him his beloved shrimp and a filet of sole in a creamy white sauce. “Do all of you know how to cook?” Johnny asked with some trepidation.